Dear Prime Minister Ardern, About God-Emperor Trump

By Olivia Pierson
[First published on Insight @the BFD 19/9/19]


To The Right Honourable Jacinda Ardern
Prime Minister of New Zealand

Well now Madam,
 
Since you seem to be a godless unbeliever who is about to enter the presence of the God-Emperor, President Trump next week, and since I’m the only writer/essayist in NZ who understands the importance of American history and the man who is now making it, I thought I’d write you a quick communique to offer a few important pointers that will be much more helpful than those you’ll receive from our meddlesome old Right Honourable Aunty Helen.

Firstly, do you remember before you became PM, when you were asked about why voters should go for professional politicians like yourself who lived off the public purse - and what you made of the anti-politicians like President Trump? (He who doesn’t even take his presidential salary.)

You answered, “What - so you elect a professional arsehole, instead?”

Then, when you became PM and met God-Emp on the sidelines of APEC, you later referred to him as, [*] “More orange than I thought he would be,” when speaking to a Kiwi sycopha... I mean, journalist. 

Professional arsehole. Orange.  Where did you go to diplomacy school Madam, the Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin?

I know a lot of water has flowed under the political bridge since you made those stupendously disrespectful remarks, but what on Earth were you thinking?  That everyone dislikes him as much as you and your posse of anti-patriarchy lesbians do? Remember that, unlike yourself, he is the much adored, duly elected president of the United States who won the votes of over 63 million of his own citizens, despite having an insidious coup attempt launched during his candidacy by crooks within America’s internal intelligence agencies and the Democratic National Committee! 

But he’s the arsehole?

Secondly, if you want to be successful in his magisterial presence, drop the painfully passé, anti-nationalist, globalist bosh.  

Even little old you, when you’re feeling very brave, likes to claim that you’re going up to the U.S to talk about accepting deals that “put NZ’s trade interests first,” and God-Emp would have it no other way when it comes to international negotiations, because he understands that kind of motivation in a leader to be realistic; he practically reinvented that terminology for the current era, hence his foreign policy doctrine being christened Principled Realism.

It is time for you to give him his due for leading the way on all things pertaining to diplomatic, rational self-interest. 

Try to keep it real by thinking like the leader of just one small, irrelevant nation, not the whole blessed globe - leave that to God-Emp to do himself, just by default. He is the Chosen One and you’re not, so keep a strict awareness of the context that you are the head of a tiny little state who has to clamour to bask for one moment in the sunbeams of his glorious attention. 

Thirdly, the one-sided virtue-signalling of your pet project, the Christchurch Call, is not only tiresome, it’s dangerous.  Don’t bore God-Emp’s big brain with it.  He’ll just make politic murmurings that it’s “nice” or “tremendous” and that he agrees there should be a lot less violent extremism online and more innocent people shouldn’t have to die, let alone have their deaths filmed and watched by sick voyeurs around the world. What do you expect him to say when he has taken a very solemn oath to uphold the Constitution and the Bill of Rights which includes the First Amendment?

And speaking of amendments that you don’t fully grasp, God-Emp just promised the American people at a rally in New Mexico that he will uphold their Second Amendment rights: “I will never ever allow them (Democrats) to take away your sacred right to keep and bear arms.” 

Got that?  In God-Emp’s great country, the cradle of the best and the worst, the right to own a gun is sacred.  This means that ordinary citizens are trusted to protect themselves against bad people and bad governments. 

Had just one other person been armed in one of the NZ mosques that Brenton Tarrant violated, many lives may have been saved. 

Apart from proving that Tarrant is a twisted little nutter, what happened in Christchurch also showed that there now exists in the West a silent, smouldering anti-Islamic sentiment which has its roots in decades of Islamic terrorism taking place inside Western nations. Too many innocent people have been slaughtered by a toxic sectarian ideology that has become wedded to the Left in a most unholy union: Islamo-Marxism. But you have had absolutely nothing to say about this widespread, recurring phenomenon, which is why I feel duty-bound to point out that your virtue- signalling on this matter is totally one-sided, that means lop-sided. 

If you’re serious about online extremism being curbed, how is it that ISIS’ potent recruitment tool, Dabiq magazine, is still available as a slick, glossy PDF for free download on every platform (including your big friend Google), in most countries including NZ and France? 

The creators of Dabiq (ISIS) hate absolutely everyone, but most especially “apostate” Muslims; those who have left Islamic lands to inva.. I mean, make a life for themselves, in Western countries.  Dabiq overtly calls for “devout” Muslims in every nation to kill these “apostates,” along with infidels like you and me, using any method that can be mustered, in every country on Earth.   

I cannot fathom why you had censored The Great Replacement, Tarrant’s manifesto, which is the personal opinion of just one killer, yet 15 issues of Dabiq with all its hatred and outright calls to barbarity and murder, spread over 60 pages per issue and punctuated by some gruesome images to boot, recruits thousands of jihadist soldiers worldwide - even from NZ - but does not seem to warrant either your scrutiny or your condemnation, let alone any censorship in the country which you currently govern. 

Furthermore, His Excellency President Macron is a very poor partner in your Christchurch Call business, considering that it was while touring France that Tarrant had a total melt-down about the sheer levels of Islamic immigration into every town of that nation - a nation which has been ravaged by Islamic terrorism, rapes, cathedral burnings and icon desecrations.  It was this state of affairs in France that flipped Tarrant’s troubled mind to perform his dastardly deed here on our shores in NZ, as a sick act of misguided revenge. 

The Yellow Vest protests inside President Macron’s own country are now into their 45th week, and French media are acting as if they are nothing to report on, because the media have been forced into a silence which they’ve accepted as the dutiful little minions they are. France does not have a clear First Amendment, unlike God-Emperor’s great country. President Macron is King Louis XVI awaiting a furious overthrow from his people, sans the guillotine.

Fourthly, it’s time for you to be far more respectful to God-Emp, since our nation needs better trade deals on oil and natural gas. Given that NZ imports 50 percent of its oil from the Middle East, through the shipping lanes of the Strait of Hormuz and the Gulf of Aden, our country is dependent on the U.S and God-Emp’s sheer goodwill to defend those shipping lanes. 

You’ve made it quite clear with your kindergarten-teacher girlsplaining that our nation will not become oil and natural gas independent anytime soon, so we need excellent relations with God-Emp, now that America is set to be the world’s largest net exporter of both.  You could really learn a lot from him about real diplomacy if you are prepared to lay aside your woman’s weekly-style wittering.

Fifthly, about this flakey woman’s weekly-style that you have down-pat, you psychobabbled your way into leadership using the pure Marxist lexicon of a social-worker on steroids: “well-being budgets,” “compassion,” “kindness,” “caring,” “equality,” “collectivism,” “openness,” “inclusiveness,” “empathy,” etc, ad nauseam. 

You portrayed yourself as the heroic, female champion of the oppressed and defender of the weak. This style of yours actually earned you the label of the “anti-Trump” while you revelled in a Vogue photo shoot.

Yet, the reality that has now broken across our NZ and world media with an astonishing fury is that you failed to take seriously a harrowing allegation, which was made known to your office and ignored, of extreme bullying and the violent sexual assault of a 19 year old, female Labour Party volunteer at the hands of a male Parliamentary staffer who works in your office. 

I can’t even begin to know how you’re going to get yourself out of this one, given the empathetic and emotionally caring image you have taken great pains to cultivate, but I do know that the denial of any knowledge about the seriousness of the assault, that you are currently engaging in to media, is not going to cut it.  That line just is not believable given how much you care about “women’s issues.” 

Perhaps while you’re up in his Kingdom, you can ask God-Emp his advice on this tight spot you’re in.  He’s had a fair bit of experience with overblown, fake sex claims coming thick and fast toward him and his, only you’re an @MeTooer so you have to always believe the woman is truthful, even if she isn’t… but did you? Do you?  Maybe you could reach out to Christine Blasey Ford for some advice?  Or should you instead take some input from Judge Brett Kavanaugh?  Shoot, this really is a fine pickle for you to be in. How’s all that anti-Trumpness working out for you?

One more thing in closing, Madam Prime Minister, when you’re in the company of God-Emp next week, don’t go on a blithering, verbal rampage and try his formidable patience with Paris Accord silliness that he has already made his superior mind up on.  He, along with most right-thinking people, knows that climate alarmism is a UN hoax invented to manipulate the emotions of sheeple and co-opt economies, so before you go turning all carbon-neutral on the man, consider that he may prefer yuuuuuuuge herds of cow farts to just one of your girlish brain farts, on any day of the week.

He was very flattering to you at APEC when he singled you out to the group and stated admiringly,  “this lady caused a lot of upset in her country,” referring to the election which saw you become our PM.  Your riposte was very quick, “No-one marched when I was elected.” Cute, but maybe we should have. 

Then you unkindly indulged in that undiplomatic “orange” insult behind his back, signalling that you were not a friend. Imagine if he had said to a member of his press, “That PM of Noo Zealand is more equine than I thought she would be… neigh, neigh!”

Let’s hope that regrettable moment passed unnoticed by him (he has always had much bigger fish to fry), but the lack of exemption from tariffs on our steel exports, unlike Australia’s, would hint that it did not.  

God-Emperors are human beings too, they’re just very, very exceptional ones. Try to remember that and all may go well for you… in America at least.


[Edit: *A correction to Jacinda Ardern’s “orange” comment about President Trump. 
​“He was not as orange in real life.”]


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